Enough Good

I watched NCIS last night, as I do most Tuesday nights. Last night's episode took a turn from just the normal crime procedural to focus on perhaps the show's most lovable and quirky characters, Abby.

A car accident involving the death of a young Marine and a young woman suddenly takes Abby back to her very first case, when she was a little girl in pigtails. (Not that her hairstyle has changed any.) Remembrance of this case drives the normally upbeat and sunny Abby into a dark place more befitting her gothic appearance. This is cause for much concern and conversation amongst the members of her team. The ever-brilliant forensic scientist makes mistakes and displays a surliness we have never seen in her, even when stalked or kidnapped.

The mini-Abby's case begins in a junk yard, with a wrecked truck. She finds a teddy bear in the floorboard and is determined to return the bear to its young owner. What she finds is a family divided by prejudice and misunderstanding. It proves to be a divide that cannot be closed, even by a young girl with all the optimism and love that is our Abby.

Of course, the team solves the case, but the story line isn't really the point of this post. I want address the inner conflict that took Abby to that dark place. At the end of the episode, Abby sits on the floor and pours out her heart to Gibbs. "I'm afraid I'm not enough," she says. "Not enough what?" Gibbs replies. "Not enough good to push back all the evil." Gibbs says, "You are forgetting the ripple effect" Abby is confused and Gibbs asks her to remember the first day they met. In Abby-fashion she remembers every detail including the fact that she shared her fortune cookie with him. He pulls from his wallet the fortune, it reads, "Today's new friend is tomorrow's family." As a viewer, I loved the moment between them and was relieved to see a little of the old Abby shine through as the scene faded to black. I do however wish I could have written that ending, because it was a perfect place to address Abby's real need.

I, like Abby, ache over all the evil in the world. I, like Abby, try my best to be light and hope to those around me. I wonder if I am am enough, could do enough to keep it at bay. But, unlike Abby, I understand that evil will exist until the time that Christ comes back and brings that new heaven and earth. And, unlike Abby, I know I can't rely on myself or even my friends or family to be the source of my hope. Jesus is my only hope. The Psalms say it over and over again, our hope is in The Lord. Corinthians tells us that three remain, faith, hope, and love, and the greatest is love. I John tells us that God is love and that we love because he first loved us and Romans says that God demonstrates his love for us in this: while we were sinners Christ died for us. That is where the "enough" comes from. I can't muster it from somewhere inside. I can't draw it from those around me. I can, however, seek it from the fountain of hope, love, and faith that never runs dry. It is there that "enough good" is found. Like a favorite song of mine says, "All of you is more than enough for all of me."